
This might just be me being a hopeless romantic, but personally I believe this song tells a dark and twisted love story. In the first stanza, we see that the singer is a cynical individual who believes “it’s not easy having yourself a good time” in this cold and cruel world, a world in which one must “grease up bets and betters”- in other words, pretend to be nice to take advantage of others. The description “smells like something I’d forgotten, curled up died and now it’s rotten” are the singer’s way of describing the world as place that stinks both literally and figuratively, as well as being dead and corrupt.
The next lines are where the second character is brought in. The singer says that he is “not a gangster tonight, don’t want to be a bad guy.” This is the singer telling this new person that he is really not a bad person, and doesn’t want to be one at that. He next tells this person that he’s “just a loner, baby. And now you’ve gotten in my way.” This is the singer telling this person that he has always faced life alone, prefers it that way even. However, now that this person has entered his life, she is getting in the way of his daily routine and life as he is used to it is changing.
We now hear the chorus for the first time. In the chorus, the singer voices his indecision on what he should do with this infuriating woman he loves. He debates whether or not to kill her, and obviously believes she is at heart a good person as he believes she will go to Heaven if he does kill her. He also asks her to “please don’t hang your head and cry,” suggesting he may be bothered by her unhappiness, though this is relatively unclear. The singer next says “no wonder why my heart feels dead inside, it’s cold and hard and petrified.” This can be interpreted as the singer stating he feels hollow and dead because at hard he is cold and not capable of love as she believes. “Lock the doors and close the blinds” may be the singer saying he chooses to shut the rest of the world out, and “we’re going for a ride” could be an internal struggle as the singer continues to decide the fate of the woman he may or may not really love.
As the song does not end here, one could speculate that the singer has chosen to let her live for now. He claims that “it’s a bitch convincing people to like you,” which could be the singer telling the woman he is not an easy man to love or even like. “If I stop now call me a quitter, if lies were cats you’d be a litter,” could be the singer stating he insists on still living a cynical life, and claiming the woman is lying when she says she loves him, because no one could possibly love him. “Pleasing everyone isn’t like you” is the first clue we get that this woman could be a bit less than nice and cheerful most of the time, adding to the idea she could be lying about her love for him. “Dancing jigs until I’m crippled, slug ten drinks I won’t get pickled” is the singer once again insisting he will continue to live his life as he always has, adamant to not allow this woman to change how he lives his life.
The next lines in the song are “I’ve got to hand it to you, you’ve played by all the same rules. It takes the truth to fool me, and now you’ve made me angry.” The singer admits to the girl that she reminds him of himself, that she “plays by all the same rules” as he does. “It takes the truth to fool me” could be the singer admitting to the truth about his love for her. However, the fact that she has “fooled” or tricked him into falling in love has made him angry.
The chorus then repeats as the singer once again debates whether or not to eliminate the woman. This time, he delves further into the idea of killing her, even listing methods of doing it. He speculates on throwing her in a lake and drowning her, or feeding her a poisoned birthday cake. He then says “I won’t deny, I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone.” In this way he is telling her that he has come to realize he does care about her, and this may be why he feels he must kill her.
Just before the chorus repeats, he claims the reason why his indecision persists is that, as he puts it, “I could burry you alive, but you might crawl out with a knife and kill me while I’m sleeping.” The idea of her killing him is not the reason he doesn’t try to kill her that way, he says it is the reason he can’t decide whether or not to kill her at all. This could mean that she still reminds him of himself, that she is also twisted and cynical- which is probably one of the reasons he loves her- and he’s not sure loving her is a bad thing, or if she really has to die.
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